good enough.

Today was a pretty long day, and ive been basically preparing myself for the past week and espeicially today, for tonight's aci spring concert! There was only ONE reason.. wait.. one GOOD reason, why i was looking forward to this night: after almost 11 months i finally get to see soup again ^^. As i came up on stage for my first performance of the night, i scanned the audience and maybe i just didnt see him, slowly, i began to doubt if he took back on his words and didnt come. As i finished that performance, i left the music rooms and walked into the audience and sat in the balcony. To my surprise while scanning the audience from the back. Soup was there! It was pretty much the happiest moment in my day, and i instantly started partially freaking out b/c i didnt kno how to react from all the.. craziness! I eventually had the guts to walk down to where he was sitting and sit 2 seats away from him (the 2 seats were taken). i waved and he waved back, and smiled. hahah. I think i probably died then :D
So, the night continued on, and my next performance wasnt until after intermission. I sneaked in a bit of my warm up time so i can actually talk to him say hi and whatever.. to other ppl i invited too ofc. But it was already 9 and it looked like soup was gonna go because he had somewhere to go to. I tried as hard as i can to not sound desperate to make him stay. afterall, inviting him to come was the only thing that wouldve made my day totally awesome even if i screwed up.. or something. Sadly, i quickly had to go back and i didnt get a chance to say bye to him or hug him before he left. (he left when i was warming up on stage)
So, i went to my performance after intermission, and when i looked to where Soup was supposed sitting / standing..., i saw him get up, and leave the aud. I was soo sad, it kinda felt like it didnt even matter if i did a good job for the rest of the concert or not. Ofc, performance after performance after that, i was looking for him but still no luck. I thought hed come back, but i guess not. Well, seeing him again was enough to put a smile on my face :) -sigh- so much for getting over someone. Feelings just cant be forced... cant force them to go away, as much as you might want them to, its harder than you think. It's always the little things of that person that remind you why you love them so much.. haha. ^^. It;s been fun/interesting/tiring all at the same time. only partially worth it but more than anything i couldve expected (audience wise). No one can tell what's gonna happen in the future, so all i can do is leave the rest to God :) "que sera sera"-whatever will be, will be-